Long after pulling back up to the house, I sat in the truck digesting all Jean had shared about Starlet’s deteriorating condition. And to think that for the past couple of weeks I thought she was getting better.

Man, did she have me fooled. I didn’t know whether to be angry with her, or afraid of what could happen if I didn’t get her some help.

I wiped a hand across my face, now seeing all the signals I’d missed: Starlet putting all her energy into the BBQ preparations, pretending to be in the midst of cleaning when Alexander needed feeding or changing, cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for Red and Jean. Anything to turn the baby’s care over to someone else.

When I really thought about it, the only thing she really did for the baby was nurse him. “Damn,” I muttered, gripping the steering wheel.  

Jean had left me with a warning that Starlet’s depression could get to the point where it also placed Alexander in danger. I sighed, climbed out of the truck and walked around back to get the groceries.

As I grabbed the bags, my spirits sank. I was no longer in a party mood. My happiness depended on making sure Starlet and Alexander were safe and healthy. Right now, one of the people I loved the most wasn’t healthy. And leaving her with Alexander might not be that safe—for either of them.

With each step closer to our front door, I prepared myself for the conversation Starlet and I were about to have. As my hand touched the doorknob, I swallowed hard, fighting back an all-too-familiar sense of foreboding.

I closed my eyes, momentarily traveling back to Reina’s death and how everything had come rushing back following the warehouse shootout. On both occasions, the enemy lived outside our home. What if . . . I shrugged and opened the door.

“Hey, Alex,” Red said, walking past the foyer with Alexander cradled in his arms. “Starlet cooked the best breakfast I’ve ever had. I think she saved you some.”

I looked at Red in confusion. I could have sworn Jean said he was supposed to have measurements taken this morning. “I thought you weren’t coming by until later?”

“Oh, I wasn’t. But Starlet said she had cooked too much, and I couldn’t let it go to waste. So, I changed my tuxedo appointment. Think Jean’s going to be upset with me?”

I shook my head and smiled at Red’s innocence. “I think she’ll understand. Where’s Starlet?”

“She’s talking to DJ services. I’m supposed to keep Alexander quiet until she’s done.”

“Well, let me put these bags down, and I’ll take him from you.”

“No, you don’t have to. I like holding him. He always smells so good.” Red sniffed the crook of Alexander’s neck. “I wonder why they smell so good.”

“Probably has something to do with all that fragranced stuff their mothers purchase,” I said, walking into the kitchen and setting the bags on the counter. “So, how long has Starlet been calling around?”

Red placed the baby on his shoulder and glanced at his watch. “Hmm . . . about two hours. Finding the right DJ is hard work, you know.”

“Yeah, I guess it is. Listen, Red, it’s beautiful outside and I really need to speak to Starlet in private. Think you can take Alexander for a walk around the complex?”

“Sure thing, Alex!”

“Thanks, man. His stroller’s in the hall closet.”

Red ambled out of the room. Moments later, the front door opened and closed.

I took the stairs two at a time. The door to our office was wide open, but Starlet wasn’t in there. I walked down the hall to our bedroom and slowly eased open the door. No Starlet.

Muffled sounds on the other side of the bathroom door got my attention. I strolled across the room and pushed the lever down on one of the double-doors and peeped in. Starlet was lying inside the jetted tub with her eyes closed and suds up to her neck.

“I thought you were trying to find a DJ,” I said.

Starlet jumped, splashing water and soap everywhere. “Damn, Alex! You scared the hell out of me.”

“Red said you were looking for DJs.”

“Umm, well, I was . . .” she said, trailing off.

“I didn’t know DJs could be found in bathtubs.”

“I just got a little tired and thought a quick soak would relax me. Do you know how draining it is planning a party?”

I looked up to the sky and back down to Starlet. “Look, if I’m going to help you, you have to stop lying to me.”

Starlet sat up in the tub. “Alex, what are you talking about? I have nothing to lie about.”

“I know what’s been going on. Why Red and Jean are spending so much time here . . . and why you’ve been doing so much cooking, cleaning and planning.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re suffering from post-partum depression.”

Starlet laughed and flung soap in my direction. “You are too silly. Other than adjusting to motherhood, I’m fine. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me.”

“When a woman spends her entire day getting out of caring for her own child, something is wrong.”

“I do not avoid Alexander. Ask Red and Jean—I nurse him at every feeding.”

“Yeah, that might be so, but that’s the only thing you do. You don’t bathe him. You don’t dress him. You don’t even put him to bed. And I have yet to see you play with him.”

I gazed at Starlet, not sure if the water on her face came from tears or the tub. “I am not a bad person, Alex.”

“Baby,” I said, stooping next to the tub. “I didn’t say you were a bad person. I just think you need to see a professional. Somebody you can talk to without feeling like you’re being judged.”

“Therapists are for crazy people. I am not crazy.”

“I didn’t say you were crazy. Post-partum depression can affect anybody.”

“I do not have post-partum depression. Women with post-partum depression don’t feed their babies.”

“The only thing you do is feed him. When’s the last time you held him just to hold him?”

Starlet sat back in the tub, as if she was thinking over my question. She looked up at me, her eyes visibly tearing up. “Alex, don’t make me see somebody. Please don’t.”

I cupped her hands in mine. “I’m not trying to force you to do anything. I just want you to be OK. I want to know that when I leave you and Alexander alone, you’ll both be OK. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Starlet nodded. “But can’t we just have Red and Jean continue to come over?”

“No, baby. Red and Jean are getting married. That means they’re going to eventually plan a family of their own. It’s not fair for them to change their lives around to accommodate us.”

“But I don’t need them forever. Just a few more weeks.”

“Starlet, we can’t continue like this. As they get closer to the wedding, they’ll have less time to spend here with you and the baby. Do you know that Red missed his tuxedo appointment this morning to come here?”

“Really? Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize—”

“Leave it alone. It's done now. Listen, your mother gave me a card a while back. I think we should at least go in for a consultation.”

“I can’t go there by myself. I can’t do this alone,” Starlet said, beginning to sob.

I released her hands and wrapped my arms around her heaving shoulders, not caring that I was getting soaked. “I promise you this, if nothing else—you will never be alone as long as I’m here.”